Identity shift versus goal setting – which one is better? If you’ve ever noticed that goal setting fails to hit the targeting it might be because of your identity. Your identity is “who” you think you are, it’s your self image. So if your self image is constantly telling you that you’re not good enough, or you’re unfit, or some other limiting idea, you’ll (unconsciously) sabotage a goal which conflicts with it.
If you’re ever set a fitness goal, for example, you’ll have likely come up against an identity conflict. You join a gym in January, only to quit in March, for example. That’s often because despite your best efforts on the “outside”, there’s an inner conflict going on on the “inside”. Your old identity tells you that “you’re no gold medallist”. You prefer a night on the sofa with a few beers. Or a late night pizza and night out with your mates. But ultimately your old habits start conflicting with your desire to get in shape. Sooner or later you drop your best intentions and find yourself somewhere less ideal than you’d imagined.
Identity Shift Versus Goal Setting
What if, instead of just setting a goal, like you might normally do, you also set an intention to change your identity to one which supports your goal? Identity is just as important, if not more than goal setting. With a goal, it’s very much “do this thing, to get that outcome“. But sometimes you don’t feel like doing the work to get the outcome. Sometimes you doubt your actions and procrastinate.
That’s because you’re not just dealing with one identity. You have multiple versions of yourself within. Sometimes you want to work hard to attain, and other times you want to slack off and relax. When you set your identity as someone who “does a certain thing”, you align all parts of yourself with your goal from within.
It then becomes much easier to maintain the necessary focus and intention to succeed, because you’re the type of person who succeeds, rather than they type who doesn’t.
Identity Shift Versus Goal Setting – Changing Your Identity
So, how can you change your identity? Surely we are stuck with “who we are”? Not so. By actively crafting a new identity, you’re much more likely to follow through with goals and intentions than if you’re completely unaware of your inner vision of yourself.
Most of us are unaware of the self talk in our head, for example. We tell ourselves stories in our heads through our daily lives. What you’re telling yourself feeds into the story of your self image, or identity. Are you telling yourself powerful affirmations and intentions? Or are you sabotaging your best intentions through doubt and uncertainty? Or, even worse, perhaps you’re telling yourself how you can’t do something, because you’re so weak and incapable?!
Once you’ve set a goal, it is in these moments where you subtly sabotage yourself. You say to yourself, for example, why not have a few drinks with your mates. After all, you’ve earned it! Or, why not eat that pizza, or skip the gym today? Pretty soon, you’ve abandoned your New Year’s Resolution altogether and it’s been the inner saboteur (your self talk) which has done it in a moment of doubt or weakness.
Identity Shift Versus Goal Setting – Shifting The Narrative
To shift your inner narrative, to one of more empowering self talk, you must write a story about yourself which creates a new identity. No more, “I can’t do this” or “I would but..” and so on. A powerful identity is backed by belief and intention. It carries you forward in those moments where you make the decisions which either take you off route, or keep you on it.
So ask yourself, who do you see as someone who can do the things you struggle with? Who can you identify with, to help you create a new identity? What do you think they will say to themselves (in their head)? At a guess, I’d say someone who is succeeding is telling themselves things which are motivating and positive, and, on a regular basis.
In Cybernetic Transposition, a useful tool for intention setting, you create a meta story which you can use as a mantra. You repeat it to yourself in your head over and over again. There’s simply no room for any negative self talk when you’re doing this! This is one of the most powerful ways to create a new identity around the goals and a life you want to create.
Create A Metastory
To create a new story about yourself with Cybernetic transposition, you take an old memory from a success in your past and turn it into a story about something you want to achieve. You can also use a mantra, to help define what it is you want to achieve. So for example, if your goal is to lose weight and get much fitter, your meta-story should centre around your new vision of yourself. Here’s some examples of short meta-stories/intentions:
“I’m so proud and grateful that I’ve dropped 5 pounds in only 6 months through my fitness regime. I’m feeling strong, healthy and powerful”.
“It’s June 1st 2025 and I have made my first ever sale online. I’m grateful I have been able to do this and looking forward to the next one!”
“I’m so grateful for my new relationship, we enjoy our time together and are planning our new life together”.
A meta story is a longer version of this which you can spend some time creating. This is done through repetition and aligning the story so that it suits your intention and sits correctly with all parts of you. One of the main problems with goal setting is that it’s often done on a whim. With a meta story, you need to spend some time writing and re-writing so that you’re completely aligned with it.
Why Goals Don’t Work
Goals often don’t work because they come up against inner conflicts which turn up later. Perhaps you didn’t really want to give yourself such a difficult goal after all! Or, you’re not giving yourself enough enjoyable time and you make life too uncomfortable to cope with for the longer term.
Most of us are lazy and although we want things in life, such as the relationship, the nice house and the great career, we’re not always willing to do the things which help create them. Being real and truthful with yourself is therefore a given when writing out a meta story. Unless you align all parts of yourself with your intention, you’ll most likely give up when the going gets tough.
Goals change too over time and the things you wanted in your 20’s are often not the same when you’re in your 30’s or 40’s. So choosing a good goal and aligning your identity with it is one of the best ways to make things happen. If you don’t really want your goal, you’re hardly likely to bust a gut achieving it. Maybe you’re doing something to “make someone else” proud of you? Or you’re trying to please someone? If your goals are confused with what someone else wants, you’ll sabotage somewhere down the line if you don’t really want it for yourself.
Main Criteria For Metastory/Goal
When writing out a meta-story or goal, there’s two main criteria. It must be a 10 out of 10 for desirability, that is, you must really, really want it. If you don’t really want it, you won’t keep going. This is why many gym goers quit in March after joining in January. They actually decide they don’t really care about the perfect gym body! They just don’t want to do all the work involved and it’s not that important to them to do it! So they quit!
The second criteria for goal/intention setting is that you must believe you can achieve it! It must score a 10 out of 10 for achievability. If you don’t believe you can achieve a goal, you won’t go “all in” for it! Why bother when you doubt your ability to attain it?!
When you really really want something, and really really believe you can attain it, you’ll go all in to achieve it, whatever it takes!
When I met a stuntman, in the late 90’s, I decided to become a stuntman myself. The criteria for joining the stunt register was super difficult. It involved multiple qualifications to instructor level. See my post how to become a stuntman. It took four years to training and commitment. But the end goal of being a stuntman was something I couldn’t pass up! I had a 10 out of 10 for desirability and a 10 out of 10 for believability!
Summary
Goal setting is all well and good, but if you include an identity shift it’s much more powerful. With a goal, you try to attain things though effort alone. What’s often forgotten is that there’s a powerful internal resistance to most goals in the form of your previous identity. If it doesn’t support your new goal, it will likely resist it.
For example, lets say you’ve spend the last four years slobbing around on the couch and you decide to turn over a new leaf. You set a goal to join the gym and attend 3 times a week. But after a month, you give up. Your old habits (and identity) are working against your best efforts.
It’s probably also worth using mini or micro habits, particularly if you’re attempting a big change. Big changes are difficult because of the momentum of your previous intentions and habits. A great book on self image is Maxwell Maltz Psycho-cybernetics.
For more on Cybernetic Transposition check out Stuart Lichtman’s book below:
